Transitions

dsc_9959I have gone through so many transitions in my life. I moved from child to adult, student to graduate, employee to business owner, girlfriend to wife, wanting to be a Mom to Mom of a 3- day old infant through adoption, career girl to stay-at -home Mom, Mom to Empty Nester, floundering Mother and wife without a clue to Life Coach, just to name a few. 

I was ready for some of these transitions. I thought they’d be easy because I wanted them to happen so badly. I knew they would make my life happier: graduation, career, Motherhood, marriage, life coaching.

But as I write this I realize even the “happy” transitions required work, perseverance, sweat and tears. College was a 4+ year slog, marriage was a rollercoaster ride, adopting a child was like running through a gauntlet and building a business is not for the faint of heart. These are the transitions I invited into my life and the struggle did bring me great gifts. I learned resilience going to college. I have been married for 25 years which is no small feat! I raised a brilliant and unique young woman. And I found work that lights me up and makes me grateful every time I meet with a client.

And then there are the transitions that I resisted because I knew I would they would knock me for a loop. They made me fight and cry and howl at the moon in despair: Empty Nest, infertility, death, illness, job loss. They were heartbreaking and I had no power over their presence in my life. They created stress, friction, sadness, and a feeling of hopelessness.

There is, of course, a gift in the struggle of these transitions as well. I had to give up my dream of a biological child but I got a beautiful baby girl. I took care of my own Mother in her final 6 months which gave us a deep love, appreciation, and forgiveness for each other. And as I found myself drifting for an entire year of my life, wondering who and what I would do now that my work as a full-time Mother was no longer needed, I was able to find new work that I love just as much.

We can’t be alive without transitions. Things don’t stay the same forever. Transitions are just a part of life and they push us forward ready or not. We can fight them but ultimately resistance is futile. Maybe In knowing that fighting transitions is futile we can let go of our despair, face the challenge head on and make ourselves happier as we find the gift in the struggle.